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WASHINGTON POST VOCABULARY CONTEST
The Washington Post recently published a contest for readers 
in which they were asked to supply alternative meanings for 
various words.  The following were some of  the winning entries:

Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Carcinoma (n.), a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.

Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly 
answer the door in your nightie.

Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.


The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take 
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or 
changing one letter,  and supply a new definition.  Here are some
recent winners:

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the 
reader who doesn't get it.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously.

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's 
like a serious bummer.

Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts 
until you realize it was your money to start with.

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